![]() ![]() ![]() The flavor is similarly gray and the texture is almost Bar S-level of baby food puree. It’s not absolutely horrible but certainly not a tone that builds culinary anticipation. But alone, naked and shivering on the plate? Noooooope. Under chili and cheese (both would be vegan, I assume)? Maybe. So I’ll tell you that as a standalone product, these aren’t fooling anyone. I included these because Roy Choi just raved about them and I do agree that they can take on a lot of flavors, but… Roy Choi is getting paid by Field Roast and I’m not. Why? Well, the snap of the casing is why I like hotdogs in the first place and that’s tough to imitate with plant protein. The hot dog is a very tough form factor for vegan food. Crafted with garlic, cracked black pepper and paprika, our hot dogs are blended with classic spices to give you a perfectly balanced and flavorful bite every time. FIELD ROAST SIGNATURE STADIUM DOG - Plant-Based Hot Dogs* Steve Bramucciįrom the website: Savor the natural hardwood smoked taste of our Signature Stadium Plant-Based Hot Dogs. It’s blended-pureed to a consistency that leaves it in the uncanny valley-level of homogenous foods, where you actually get unnerved by eating it.Ģ1. It’s a meat tube with no discernable casing. I literally can’t imagine a hot dog tasting worse than this. These make me wonder if all of the “ hot dogs are made of pig anuses and toenails” tales from my childhood are true. Holy sh*t, someone needs to get fired for these. Don’t believe us? Start the grill and watch your gang come running. It’s actually gross that you can get these for this price.įrom the website: Made from premium beef with a flavor that will soon have you hooked, whether you’re serving up hot dogs for lunch or whipping up your famous chili cheese dogs. What was the wholesale price? How much went to the farmer? The butcher? The American food system is falsely deflated - relying on farm subsidies and exploitative labor practices - and this is further evidence. *This is way too inexpensive for a pound of meat. Not sure it was worth the effort - they’re middling, at best. * After multiple subtweets, I tracked down Hebrew National (they were sold out when I did my hunt, but it was also the 4th of July weekend) and added them. If you take nothing else from this piece, let it be this: do not buy entry #22. Please argue with me across every platform, but know that the top four is pretty tough to topple. My preferred way to cook a dog is to beer steam them - as detailed here - but this is more neutral. I cooked these in a half-inch of boiling water so that I could get the snappy casings of a boiled dog while also getting a tiny bit of toasting on the casing (if you boil them in a full pot, you don’t get that effect). The best of them certainly inspired concession stand nostalgia. That said, a few mainstream American dogs did well (with a few genuine shockers). Okay, parameters on this: I’m not gauging these off the dogs of my youth, I’m basing them on the German frankfurters that you get at beer halls and street markets in Europe. Finally, I stopped going to stores because I knew I’d find more and this thing would have ballooned to 50 entries. ![]() And unlike root beer, which has scarcity issues, the problem with hot dogs is that there are so-freaking-many-of-them. I hit Kmart, Fred Myer (the city’s largest grocer), Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s, and New Seasons. To find said dogs, I roamed Portland, OR straight through the long weekend. This helps to explain why my “taste ten dogs for a 4th of July ranking” morphed into a sprawling 22 dog ranking launched a week later than intended. We’re only roaming around this planet for a blink in the grand scheme of things, so I like every experience to be as close to transcendent as possible. If there’s one thing I hate, it’s a wasted meal. ![]()
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